What an awful night last night was. For me. Everyone else went so well, but I did not. It was the first of the Christmas nights, and the place was packed. And while I didn’t die, and I didn’t fall off the stage, I just didn’t work that well.
It’s time to move myself along a bit, time to write more stuff, find myself a routine, not just a couple of minutes of jokes. So, I’ve been spending time letting go of what I’ve got, thinking of new things to put in. Like when I was moving the novel from the first to the second draft. You almost have to start again. But not quite.
And the difference between writing a novel and writing a stand up script (or at least the most important difference for me at the moment), is that you don’t have to show the beginnings of the new draft to anyone.
For three months, I’ve been working to the same script line after careful, careful line. So adding pieces in threw me a bit. All day, I was filled with this idea that it wasn’t going to work. And so it didn’t. There is so much to learn. Learning to write, to perform, to go back on. Even when you think it was so, so awful and you never want to do it again.
I recorded my set last night. That’s the first time I’ve recorded it. The recording quality isn’t that good, but I listened to it in the car on the way home. And it wasn’t the car crash I thought it was. There are some good laughs coming through. But I have never fumbled a line before, and now I have to listen to it over and over again.
I won’t be on stage for a few weeks now. It will be good to give myself a break. On the other hand, having fallen off the horse, it is always good if you can get straight back on.